Bothersome

I spoke to two people today about things. I always like hearing a different opinion.

I got the same thing from both of them: God, M. Why do you bother with religion? It's such of waste of energy.

Sometimes, when I grow tired, I want to agree. But no.

I bother not because I want to, but because I need to. The more mature I grow in my faith, the hungrier I am for fulfillment. It's a fulfillment I know I won't quite see in this world. But a little is better than nothing. Anything is better than nothing at all; anything is better than being without Him.

I bother because I've opened a Pandora's box of curiosity. I couldn't stop myself. I could only follow. And to follow satisfies me. I only wish I could do it better. I could, if my own foolish pride would die. I could, if I'd stop being afraid of reprisal. If I knew I could be at peace, then maybe it wouldn't be so difficult.

Maybe I've got to, as Becky Fischer said to her camp kids (as much as I violently disagree with 99% of what she believes), "cook a little". Strive.

Excuse me, by the way, for appearing weak rather than just biting the bullet and doing what needs to be done.