Because it's not Tuesday until I go to sleep and wake up. ;)
Tonight I bring you what's technically a Christmas song, but one I love enough to share early. It's an original by Francesca Battistelli, who emerged onto the Christian music radar only a few years ago with her infectious "Free to Be Me." Now married with a baby boy of her own, Francesca's music has (at least in my opinion) matured a great deal since those days, and I think you'll find that reflected in this song. It's also from Our Lady's POV, which is always neat.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Restless Waiting
There's been a lot on my mind this week. I don't really know how to express any of it.
Gaudete week is all about rejoicing. I heard it described recently as peeking around the corner into the living room on Christmas Eve, if only out of pure longing.
And then the pastor at the parish Newman is now incorporated in said that we need to reflect on the gift of Christian joy, so that we might better radiate it to others. But in the midst of all that, he asked why we weren't weeping for those that didn't know or rejected the love of God.
Ever the reverent soul, I snickered. In the front pew. Thankfully, only one of my friends noticed, and she understood.
You know, I've been through Romans a few times thanks to daily Mass and my own studying a few years back, but a friend pointed out a verse to me last night that I somehow never noticed before. Paul writes:
I have great sorrow and constant anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and separated from Christ for the sake of my brothers...
I had to read that twice before I understood. Even Paul felt like throwing the whole thing away now and then. In some strange way, that's consoling for me.
This is just a messy time of year -- so much peace and wonder and insanity that comes when we stuff my whole clan into one house. Yet there's always that itch in my bones that never really goes away -- it's magick and "Ole Scratch" convincing me now and then that things would be so much simpler if I just did things my way.
But we all know where that landed me, aye? Thankfully I'm used to this needling in early winter, and it passes quickly. I've learned to shrug it off and pay close attention to Advent in moments like these. After all, He did come for the restless ones probably most of all. And that's something to rejoice over.
Patience, I tell myself. It's almost time.
Gaudete week is all about rejoicing. I heard it described recently as peeking around the corner into the living room on Christmas Eve, if only out of pure longing.
And then the pastor at the parish Newman is now incorporated in said that we need to reflect on the gift of Christian joy, so that we might better radiate it to others. But in the midst of all that, he asked why we weren't weeping for those that didn't know or rejected the love of God.
Ever the reverent soul, I snickered. In the front pew. Thankfully, only one of my friends noticed, and she understood.
You know, I've been through Romans a few times thanks to daily Mass and my own studying a few years back, but a friend pointed out a verse to me last night that I somehow never noticed before. Paul writes:
I have great sorrow and constant anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and separated from Christ for the sake of my brothers...
I had to read that twice before I understood. Even Paul felt like throwing the whole thing away now and then. In some strange way, that's consoling for me.
This is just a messy time of year -- so much peace and wonder and insanity that comes when we stuff my whole clan into one house. Yet there's always that itch in my bones that never really goes away -- it's magick and "Ole Scratch" convincing me now and then that things would be so much simpler if I just did things my way.
But we all know where that landed me, aye? Thankfully I'm used to this needling in early winter, and it passes quickly. I've learned to shrug it off and pay close attention to Advent in moments like these. After all, He did come for the restless ones probably most of all. And that's something to rejoice over.
Patience, I tell myself. It's almost time.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Advent Music...Tuesday?
A day late and a dollar short this week .. I've been (and unfortunately still am) very sick this finals week. So before I crawl back under the covers, here's your gift for the week.
We lit the rose candle this weekend -- Gaudete Sunday! We depart from the reflection on the End Times for now in order to shift focus to the joyful birth of Christ we'll celebrate in just 10 days.
This is an old Latin chant I'm very fond of, by a Celtic group named Anuna.
And a rough English translation of the chorus and verses:
Rejoice, Rejoice!
Christ is born
Of the virgin Mary,
Rejoice!
It is now the time of grace
That we have desired;
Let us sing songs of joy,
Let us give devotion.
God was made man,
And nature marvels;
The world was renewed
By Christ who is King.
The closed gate of Ezekiel
Has been passed through;
From where the light rises
Salvation is found.
Therefore let our assembly now sing,
Sing the Psalms to purify us;
Let it praise the Lord:
Greetings to our King.
We lit the rose candle this weekend -- Gaudete Sunday! We depart from the reflection on the End Times for now in order to shift focus to the joyful birth of Christ we'll celebrate in just 10 days.
This is an old Latin chant I'm very fond of, by a Celtic group named Anuna.
And a rough English translation of the chorus and verses:
Rejoice, Rejoice!
Christ is born
Of the virgin Mary,
Rejoice!
It is now the time of grace
That we have desired;
Let us sing songs of joy,
Let us give devotion.
God was made man,
And nature marvels;
The world was renewed
By Christ who is King.
The closed gate of Ezekiel
Has been passed through;
From where the light rises
Salvation is found.
Therefore let our assembly now sing,
Sing the Psalms to purify us;
Let it praise the Lord:
Greetings to our King.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Advent Music Monday! Casting Crowns
I've been listening to Christmas music pretty much nonstop since our local station made its annual conversion to 24/7 holiday tunes two weeks ago.
At the same time, the nationally syndicated station I listen to for Christian rock, Air 1, has been mixing in contemporary Christmas arrangements by popular artists in the genre.
I love it all, really, and I've found myself saying more than once recently, "Oh, I should blog about this song," especially given I'm bound and determined to actually make something of Advent this year.
Voila. Introducing an Advent rendition of the Music Mondays I started elsewhere. :)
This week, here's "I Heard the Bells of Christmas Day" by Casting Crowns. The only element that remains the same from the original version is the lyrics. The change-up is dark and passionate, and super fun to play on piano, too. ;)
At the same time, the nationally syndicated station I listen to for Christian rock, Air 1, has been mixing in contemporary Christmas arrangements by popular artists in the genre.
I love it all, really, and I've found myself saying more than once recently, "Oh, I should blog about this song," especially given I'm bound and determined to actually make something of Advent this year.
Voila. Introducing an Advent rendition of the Music Mondays I started elsewhere. :)
This week, here's "I Heard the Bells of Christmas Day" by Casting Crowns. The only element that remains the same from the original version is the lyrics. The change-up is dark and passionate, and super fun to play on piano, too. ;)
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Forgiving
One of the things I think I've struggled the most with as I settled into the Church was the obligation of forgiveness.
What had me stuck was a passage in the Gospel that says if our brother sins seven times seventy times, we still need to forgive him if he asks for it.
"That's just outrageous!" I used to say to my old confessor. "All that does is let people walk on us."
He was quick to correct me in saying that forgiving isn't synonymous with being a doormat. We have every right to speak up when we are being treated unfairly. Sometimes, I wish I had known that sooner. Too often I've found myself holding my tongue out of what I thought was charity, be it at home or elsewhere, only hurting more in the process.
It was still something that confused me until fairly recently on retreat. One night while everyone was sleeping, I dug into one of my favorite theological classics -- C.S, Lewis' Mere Christianity.
He has a whole chapter dedicated to forgiveness, but his philosophy is nothing like the one that I thought Christians held: we have to be friendly and connected to people if we have truly forgiven them. If your best friend hurts you grievously, you have to go right on being their best friend and act like nothing ever happened if you're being true to Christ's words.
Honestly, where do I come up with some of these things? This is why you're not supposed to follow Him alone. (And also why spiritual direction exists.)
Yes, we are obligated to forgive even the worst sinner. This holds true even if he isn't sorry, is a killer, a rapist, or a cheater.
But forgiving someone doesn't mean we have to like them. Not even a little. We are still allowed to be righteously angry, hurt, and vulnerable, providing it's not unreasonable.
To forgive, we just need to sincerely want the best for the person who has hurt us, and for them to be whatever God wants them to be. Wanting that is the definition of loving someone in a Christian way.
I've been going through a book of Advent devotions that was suggested to me at Newman, and last night it said Advent is the time to let go of unforgiveness.
I lost some good friends this year, and will be the first to admit I made a lot of mistakes, too. Saying "I'm sorry" isn't always good enough in either case, unfortunately.
But I know that I can pray sincerely for those I've hurt. Every day that I do, I receive a little more healing.
"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us..."
Maybe there's something to those words, after all.
What had me stuck was a passage in the Gospel that says if our brother sins seven times seventy times, we still need to forgive him if he asks for it.
"That's just outrageous!" I used to say to my old confessor. "All that does is let people walk on us."
He was quick to correct me in saying that forgiving isn't synonymous with being a doormat. We have every right to speak up when we are being treated unfairly. Sometimes, I wish I had known that sooner. Too often I've found myself holding my tongue out of what I thought was charity, be it at home or elsewhere, only hurting more in the process.
It was still something that confused me until fairly recently on retreat. One night while everyone was sleeping, I dug into one of my favorite theological classics -- C.S, Lewis' Mere Christianity.
He has a whole chapter dedicated to forgiveness, but his philosophy is nothing like the one that I thought Christians held: we have to be friendly and connected to people if we have truly forgiven them. If your best friend hurts you grievously, you have to go right on being their best friend and act like nothing ever happened if you're being true to Christ's words.
Honestly, where do I come up with some of these things? This is why you're not supposed to follow Him alone. (And also why spiritual direction exists.)
Yes, we are obligated to forgive even the worst sinner. This holds true even if he isn't sorry, is a killer, a rapist, or a cheater.
But forgiving someone doesn't mean we have to like them. Not even a little. We are still allowed to be righteously angry, hurt, and vulnerable, providing it's not unreasonable.
To forgive, we just need to sincerely want the best for the person who has hurt us, and for them to be whatever God wants them to be. Wanting that is the definition of loving someone in a Christian way.
I've been going through a book of Advent devotions that was suggested to me at Newman, and last night it said Advent is the time to let go of unforgiveness.
I lost some good friends this year, and will be the first to admit I made a lot of mistakes, too. Saying "I'm sorry" isn't always good enough in either case, unfortunately.
But I know that I can pray sincerely for those I've hurt. Every day that I do, I receive a little more healing.
"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us..."
Maybe there's something to those words, after all.
Monday, November 29, 2010
A different kind of Advent
This weekend while I was home for Thanksgiving break, I went to Mass at home to kick off the Advent season (read: go to Confession). What I found was that there was a whole lot more changing instead of just the addition of purple banners.
For one thing, the church was almost completely full.
Now, let me explain...I've been going to church there off and on (mostly off until my reversion) for 14 years. I've never seen it full except on Christmas Eve. Ever.
The choir was double the size (I heard from an older gentleman who often chats with me that it's even bigger on Sundays), some of the songs were different and -- miracle! -- people actually sang.
I found myself asking somewhere around the offertory if I was in the right church. Boy, was I impressed.
I've had a lot of uncertainty and mixed feelings surrounding the merger of many parishes in my local Diocese of Camden (you can read more about it at Abide With Us), but I left on Saturday night thinking that it might not be so bad at all. In fact, the effects have been pretty astounding. And this is only just the beginning; we still need to name the new parish and fully combine finances. All that caused this swarming of the pews was the elimination of simultaneous Masses at both churches.
Now, all we need to do is wait to see how the priest situation turns out. I will definitely be praying for good things.
This may very well be the start of something good!
For one thing, the church was almost completely full.
Now, let me explain...I've been going to church there off and on (mostly off until my reversion) for 14 years. I've never seen it full except on Christmas Eve. Ever.
The choir was double the size (I heard from an older gentleman who often chats with me that it's even bigger on Sundays), some of the songs were different and -- miracle! -- people actually sang.
I found myself asking somewhere around the offertory if I was in the right church. Boy, was I impressed.
I've had a lot of uncertainty and mixed feelings surrounding the merger of many parishes in my local Diocese of Camden (you can read more about it at Abide With Us), but I left on Saturday night thinking that it might not be so bad at all. In fact, the effects have been pretty astounding. And this is only just the beginning; we still need to name the new parish and fully combine finances. All that caused this swarming of the pews was the elimination of simultaneous Masses at both churches.
Now, all we need to do is wait to see how the priest situation turns out. I will definitely be praying for good things.
This may very well be the start of something good!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Baby Bowen and Gratitude
One of my favorite Christian bands is Sanctus Real, a rock group headed by singer Matt Hammitt. He's famous for capturing hearts with his emotional lyrics paired with powerful melodies. Go on and listen to "Lead Me" on their website to get an idea of what I mean.
Earlier this fall, Hammitt found a new source of inspiration: the birth of his third child and first son, Bowen. He's had so many bumps and triumphs in his first months of life, and tonight his story graces ABC World News during an episode of gratitude.
This resonated with me, as someone who followed baby Bowen's progress on the radio, through Matt's Twitter, and Bowen's Heart, a website the family built chronicling his struggle for anxious supporters. I had a rough start, too -- born 3 months premature, I was under 2 lbs and spent 81 days in the hospital.
We all have a lot to be grateful for this week. I hope all of you have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving!
Here's the segment from ABC. Grab your tissues.
Earlier this fall, Hammitt found a new source of inspiration: the birth of his third child and first son, Bowen. He's had so many bumps and triumphs in his first months of life, and tonight his story graces ABC World News during an episode of gratitude.
This resonated with me, as someone who followed baby Bowen's progress on the radio, through Matt's Twitter, and Bowen's Heart, a website the family built chronicling his struggle for anxious supporters. I had a rough start, too -- born 3 months premature, I was under 2 lbs and spent 81 days in the hospital.
We all have a lot to be grateful for this week. I hope all of you have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving!
Here's the segment from ABC. Grab your tissues.
Friday, November 19, 2010
You have got to be kidding me.
Journalists see hairy things. We deal with extremists, idiots, tragedy and hatred on a regular basis. I can remember a friend of mine walking out of the newsroom in tears on the second day of her internship following an interview with a man who lost his son in an ATV wreck.
In features, things are admittedly swayed in the optimist's direction -- we focus on those things that make people feel good and showcase the power of the human spirit.
Through all of it, we uphold with a near-religious zeal the freedom of expression, no matter what. When we face an opinion opposed to ours, we have to hold fast to those values and bite our tongues, even when it hurts.
Sometimes, though, I have to draw the line. I have to separate myself from what I've been trained to do and rail a little. My boss always used to tell us that above all, we're still humans with real emotions and it's okay to let them out.
That said, what the hell. My faith in society has just been flushed down the toilet.
My friend Megan alerted me to the rhetorical bloodbath that is Birth or Die, a blog run by a Minnesota couple that has chosen to put the life of their unborn child in the hands of strangers on the Web. On Dec. 4, they will use the results of an on-site poll to determine whether to keep the baby or abort it.
A poll. For a human life!
Naturally, the site has been found and exploited by 4chan (do yourself a favor and don't visit), a notorious forum of organized individuals who thrive on cruelty, sadism, and some seriously perverted ideas. They flooded the poll with votes for abortion, and earlier it was almost even. Pete, the father of this unborn child, wrote that the votes would still count, because every voice deserved to be heard.
This is an extreme example of what happens when there is no regulation on our freedoms. Don't get me wrong; as a rule I am mostly anti-regulation. But this website is beyond disgusting. There are some questions as to whether or not it's even real, but I don't think that's even relevant. The fact that someone would even consider doing this is unbelievable.
Please vote. And pray for this family, who is clearly lacking in guidance.
In features, things are admittedly swayed in the optimist's direction -- we focus on those things that make people feel good and showcase the power of the human spirit.
Through all of it, we uphold with a near-religious zeal the freedom of expression, no matter what. When we face an opinion opposed to ours, we have to hold fast to those values and bite our tongues, even when it hurts.
Sometimes, though, I have to draw the line. I have to separate myself from what I've been trained to do and rail a little. My boss always used to tell us that above all, we're still humans with real emotions and it's okay to let them out.
That said, what the hell. My faith in society has just been flushed down the toilet.
My friend Megan alerted me to the rhetorical bloodbath that is Birth or Die, a blog run by a Minnesota couple that has chosen to put the life of their unborn child in the hands of strangers on the Web. On Dec. 4, they will use the results of an on-site poll to determine whether to keep the baby or abort it.
A poll. For a human life!
Naturally, the site has been found and exploited by 4chan (do yourself a favor and don't visit), a notorious forum of organized individuals who thrive on cruelty, sadism, and some seriously perverted ideas. They flooded the poll with votes for abortion, and earlier it was almost even. Pete, the father of this unborn child, wrote that the votes would still count, because every voice deserved to be heard.
This is an extreme example of what happens when there is no regulation on our freedoms. Don't get me wrong; as a rule I am mostly anti-regulation. But this website is beyond disgusting. There are some questions as to whether or not it's even real, but I don't think that's even relevant. The fact that someone would even consider doing this is unbelievable.
Please vote. And pray for this family, who is clearly lacking in guidance.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
When it counts...
Pray instead of worry.
Pray instead of worry.
Pray instead of...
Even as I have done my level best to hang on to the incredible changes that took place in me this past retreat, there are some things that even the strongest among us can't ignore right now.
Yesterday, a company that owns the vast majority of newspapers in this area made massive cuts in the form of layoffs. People I know in the industry lost their jobs. The total number of dismissed workers is hovering around 200 now. The vast majority of these open positions will not be filled. People like me who are starting to put out feelers for life post-graduation are suddenly finding many doors shut in our faces all at once. I've heard from a stringer friend at another South Jersey paper that they are quickly running out of money to pay her for the work she's done.
This comes at the heels of a less-than-stellar test grade, a case of sinusitis that hit on my 21st birthday, and reaching the end of my rope on some professional issues. I am praying hard about making some changes in the very near future.
The problem is, I have no idea what to do. May is coming, and with it, a world that seems all too reluctant to offer me a comfortable place anywhere, let alone in my field.
I don't mean to sound dreary -- in all honesty, it's in moments like these where I'm especially grateful for the hope and provision that I will always have because of Christ. The majority of my friends in the journalism industry don't have that assurance like I do, and are despairing after yesterday's punch in the gut. The hardest thing is thinking about where we will be tomorrow. Where this field is concerned, absolutely no one is safe.
But you know what? Faith teaches me not to worry about tomorrow. All I can do is be brave, keep my head up, and surrender the rest to God. He's always taken care of me, and I can put my confidence in that.
I'm still in need of some serious direction as I consider my next immediate step, though. Please pray for my (professional) discernment.
Pray instead of worry.
Pray instead of...
Even as I have done my level best to hang on to the incredible changes that took place in me this past retreat, there are some things that even the strongest among us can't ignore right now.
Yesterday, a company that owns the vast majority of newspapers in this area made massive cuts in the form of layoffs. People I know in the industry lost their jobs. The total number of dismissed workers is hovering around 200 now. The vast majority of these open positions will not be filled. People like me who are starting to put out feelers for life post-graduation are suddenly finding many doors shut in our faces all at once. I've heard from a stringer friend at another South Jersey paper that they are quickly running out of money to pay her for the work she's done.
This comes at the heels of a less-than-stellar test grade, a case of sinusitis that hit on my 21st birthday, and reaching the end of my rope on some professional issues. I am praying hard about making some changes in the very near future.
The problem is, I have no idea what to do. May is coming, and with it, a world that seems all too reluctant to offer me a comfortable place anywhere, let alone in my field.
I don't mean to sound dreary -- in all honesty, it's in moments like these where I'm especially grateful for the hope and provision that I will always have because of Christ. The majority of my friends in the journalism industry don't have that assurance like I do, and are despairing after yesterday's punch in the gut. The hardest thing is thinking about where we will be tomorrow. Where this field is concerned, absolutely no one is safe.
But you know what? Faith teaches me not to worry about tomorrow. All I can do is be brave, keep my head up, and surrender the rest to God. He's always taken care of me, and I can put my confidence in that.
I'm still in need of some serious direction as I consider my next immediate step, though. Please pray for my (professional) discernment.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
High Dive
I stand on my tip-toes at the edge of the board, staring down at the water below. I can't see what's under the surface and have no way of knowing what's ahead of me or how this is going to go. I can only have faith and throw myself forward with joy and the tiniest bit of wild abandon. ;) (Just a little. I promise.)
Enough with the metaphor. If we want to get technical, I'm reaching the last milestone of my youth tonight. I'll be 21 in a few hours ... welcome to the rest of life, etc.
I could let it become dry and boring and ordinary like that, living with regrets, in sadness or in fear of the future. But I won't. I can't. I'm made of different stuff than that.
The future is bright. Now all I have to do is take the leap and see where He'll lead me.
All I can say is that I am humbled by everything that's happened this far, and the number of unbelievable and amazing people that support me. I think of the person I was this time last year, and I can say without hesitation that I've grown a great deal since then.
God is so good to me, and I know that this is only the beginning.
Enough with the metaphor. If we want to get technical, I'm reaching the last milestone of my youth tonight. I'll be 21 in a few hours ... welcome to the rest of life, etc.
I could let it become dry and boring and ordinary like that, living with regrets, in sadness or in fear of the future. But I won't. I can't. I'm made of different stuff than that.
The future is bright. Now all I have to do is take the leap and see where He'll lead me.
All I can say is that I am humbled by everything that's happened this far, and the number of unbelievable and amazing people that support me. I think of the person I was this time last year, and I can say without hesitation that I've grown a great deal since then.
God is so good to me, and I know that this is only the beginning.
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