When it counts...

Pray instead of worry.
Pray instead of worry.
Pray instead of...

Even as I have done my level best to hang on to the incredible changes that took place in me this past retreat, there are some things that even the strongest among us can't ignore right now.

Yesterday, a company that owns the vast majority of newspapers in this area made massive cuts in the form of layoffs. People I know in the industry lost their jobs. The total number of dismissed workers is hovering around 200 now. The vast majority of these open positions will not be filled. People like me who are starting to put out feelers for life post-graduation are suddenly finding many doors shut in our faces all at once. I've heard from a stringer friend at another South Jersey paper that they are quickly running out of money to pay her for the work she's done.

This comes at the heels of a less-than-stellar test grade, a case of sinusitis that hit on my 21st birthday, and reaching the end of my rope on some professional issues. I am praying hard about making some changes in the very near future.

The problem is, I have no idea what to do. May is coming, and with it, a world that seems all too reluctant to offer me a comfortable place anywhere, let alone in my field.

I don't mean to sound dreary -- in all honesty, it's in moments like these where I'm especially grateful for the hope and provision that I will always have because of Christ. The majority of my friends in the journalism industry don't have that assurance like I do, and are despairing after yesterday's punch in the gut. The hardest thing is thinking about where we will be tomorrow. Where this field is concerned, absolutely no one is safe.

But you know what? Faith teaches me not to worry about tomorrow. All I can do is be brave, keep my head up, and surrender the rest to God. He's always taken care of me, and I can put my confidence in that.

I'm still in need of some serious direction as I consider my next immediate step, though. Please pray for my (professional) discernment.