"This is the night..."

What good would life have been to us,
had Christ not come as our Redeemer?
Father, how wonderful your care for us!
How boundless your merciful love!
To ransom a slave you gave away your Son.

O happy fault,
O necessary sin of Adam,
which gained for us so great a Redeemer!
--from The Easter Exultet

No matter what is going on in my life or how stressed I may be, the Easter Vigil always fills me with an incredible sense of anticipation and joy. It’s a rescue for me, an invitation to cast off my despair, my fear, my pain, and rejoice with the Church. We are reminded year after year that our triumph has already been won, but sometimes, in the midst of all life’s turmoil, it can be easy to forget.

Oh, how I’ve forgotten this Lent. I think this desert has extended long beyond forty days. I am ready for the oasis of the Easter season. For Pentecost. Revival.

And tonight, at long last, it’s here.

For now, I watch the Passion as I wait for my friend to arrive for Vigil. I’m watching closely with each lash, reminding myself that this is not film or fantasy, but reality. He took this on for me, for all of us. One would think, had it been a lie, or a game of insanity, that someone would have said. Of the Twelve and thousands of disciples, one of them would have given up the truth as Pilate asked.

But, no. They wouldn’t have; not if He was Truth.

This is the night we accept Him again into our midst, along with the belief that without Him, without this, we would have nothing. We would be nothing. There would be no hope.

I have flirted far too long with nihilism and the coldness of supposed rationality. I am tired of this foolishness. I am tired of Satan and his petty little games.

No more!

Tonight, I will go to receive my Lord and boast in the face of evil that this war is won.

Life hurts, but if it didn’t? Well, we’d never have Him. We’d never know what it means to be entirely humble and selfless. We’d never know what real love is, what hope is, or what the important things in this world really are.

So for that, we thank Him.

Come, Lord. Bring life to this wasteland!

Happy Vigil, my friends.