My apologies, first and foremost, for not writing this post sooner. I know that you all don't mind, but I like to have something up on holy days. The end of the semester is coming like a bullet train and I've been unfortunately tied down. I do hope to be blogging throughout the Triduum, though.
Passion Sunday (or to many, Palm Sunday) is in my top three favorite Masses in the liturgical year, behind only Christmas Mass at Midnight and the Easter Vigil. That might seem a little morbid, if you stop to consider how gruesomely vivid the Gospel of the Passion is, but I think that's what draws me. Through Ordinary Time, the truth of our salvation is always present--indeed, it never goes away--but Lent brings it to the forefront, with the first major climax occuring at the Passion Sunday liturgy. Suddenly, we find ourselves back in Jerusalem, waving palms and crying "Hosanna!" to our coming Lord. Then, all too soon, we cry for His Blood, and find ourselves kneeling at the foot of the cross.
This year, I found myself struck particularly by the role Peter played in the Passion. "Before the cock crows twice you will deny me three times," Jesus told him. Peter swore to our Lord that he would never betray Him, and never deny Him, yet he did. When faced with pressure and a threat to his safety, the great saint not only denied our Lord three times, but grew enraged and swore at the crowd that was persecuting him. It was only after the cock crowed that he realized just what he had done, and when he did, he wept bitterly.
I wept, too. It seems that I often promise Him so much, yet curse Him again and again with my broken promises and sin. I tell Him that I never want to be separated from him, and I mean it, with a sincere heart! Sooner or later, though, I am always the one breaking that bond of love and grace. It is more than enough to make me feel like a hypocrite and a failure, even in the best of times.
The good news is I've found so much comfort in this "thorn in my flesh," as Paul says in 2 Corinthians.
1) Look at what Jesus did to Simon Peter! Jesus, being fully God as well as fully man, knew without question that Peter would deny Him. Yet before that day, Jesus gave him a new name to replace his given one: Kephas, the rock. In Matthew 16:18, He said to the Apostle, "You are Peter [Kephas], and upon this rock I shall build my Church, and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it." If he could give a terrible sinner such a critical honor and responsibility, than certainly He forgives me for all I've done. Certainly, He can use me, too, for His glory.
2) Jesus still went to the Cross. He didn't have to do it for Peter, for Judas who betrayed Him, and certainly not for the countless others that would never know Him in the flesh. Still, he went and did it anyway, just because He loved them that much. And, even though I don't deserve it, He loves me that much.
There is hope for me--grace often takes time to change the heart, and I've already grown so much in the past two years. There was a time in myself where the only person that mattered was myself. I am learning now that I am the person that matters least. I'm still not quite sure how to apply that to my life, but faith, I've found, is a learning process.
His Mercy turns lives upside down. I hope one of those lives is yours.
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