Hurricanes

Today, as Hurricane Hanna pounded its way up the East Coast and headed to my home north of the Jersey Shore, I found myself doing a lot of praying.

Praying not only for the safety of my cousin and her young girls in North Carolina, but a little selfishly for myself, too. I have had a horrible two weeks, faithwise, and needed Confession and Mass very badly.

Amusingly, just as my mother pulled away after dropping me off at church, the rain which had previously held off now came in torrents. God, it seemed, had heard me.

After a long talk with my pastor, I ended up in the back of the church, which was still dark, aside from the lights in the choir area. Rain poured down outside, and I knelt to do my penance, glad to just be with Him again. So much has happened in these two weeks. I started my second year of college, saw my best friend off to school eight hours away, realized how much I missed the touch of a man, and saw someone very dear to me take the last few shaky steps toward Rome.

Frankly, I've been in a state of shock since last year when I started college. This transition from youth into adulthood is coming easily in some ways, but in others, it has been incredibly difficult. I've yet to find my 'land legs', and at times, I feel as if I'm just flailing around, waiting for things to make sense.

Being in the Presence of my Lord, really in His Presence, has been more of a consolation to me than anything else I've ever found. There are times where, seemingly without reason, I find myself choking back sobs before Mass, and in an hour's time, walking out restored, and truly whole.

I said to my other half once that it's like He comes and lets me empty myself out, so He can fill me again. It's a cleansing, a healing process.

And that struck me tonight. The storm raged outside, but in here, just for a while, everything else was okay. The physical world mirrored the spiritual. How lucky we are to have this in our Faith...no matter where we go, anywhere in the world, we have the Mass. No matter what's going on in our lives, we take an hour once a week at least to let Him in, and calm the hurricane in all of us.

Life is ever-changing. But God? He is ever-present. And ready to accept us if we come to Him.