Resistance is Futile

It's so hard not to fall back into my own "comfort food"-type sins when things get scary and I want to forget. Like flypaper, I find myself lured in, and then I'm paralyzed. Stuck.

And terribly guilty.

If I were really going for optimism, I'd say the guilt is a good thing. It means I'm starting to recognize sin for what it is--the severing of a relationship I've struggled for so long to build and keep.

If only shame would come with absolution. Absolution that I've been denied.

I never thought I would say this, but I know what he means now. I know how it feels to want to get it all out...and have someone tell you it was going to be okay, that God still loved you, to keep going.

I don't know if I have that right now.

I'm proud of him. It makes me want to fight back again. And I will. But, as I do, let's put something out in the open:

I confess to almighty God,
and to you,
my brothers and sisters,
that I have sinned through my own fault,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done,
and in what I have failed to do;
and I ask blessed Mary,
ever virgin,
all the angels and saints,
and you,
my brothers and sisters,
to pray for me to the Lord our God.